July 2024 – Jemtree's Heart

Back in the early years of our marriage, my husband and I began collecting trading cards for The Lord of the Rings board/card game.

The only card I really remember was called Thin and Stretched. It was a condition put on the Frodo or Sam card to limit its usefulness, and try to get it removed from the game.

Why, you might wonder, do I remember just this particular card?

Well, I have often identified with how it’s defined.

Life tends to do that to me.

Relationships do that to me.

My health and my body do that to me, too.

The last few weeks my heart has definitely been stretched, and in some instances maybe thinned as well.

It was so filled with joy and contentment while all of my kids and their spouses got to visit.

It has been soooooooo stttrrreeeeetched by those visiting having to go back to their far away homes.

Then several other people moved away.

One of my dearest friends moved away yesterday.

And God took my mom-in-law Home to be with Him…

I miss her.

😭

I miss my friend.

I miss my students that had to move.

It’s like God purged out many of the people I care most about, while He gave me special time with my kids and their spouses that live way too far away.

I’ve decided to be nice to me and take some time to adjust and heal, let the sadness be wrung out with a little set-apart time.

Ow!

❤️‍🩹

I can feel that temptation to avoid this pain happening again, that temptation to isolate myself, to build walls to keep the hurt of people leaving again away.

But I’ve decided that, instead, I’ll retreat for a bit, dust myself off, and find new people to let in to my heart, for however long God lets them be close.

God has made my heart malleable— able to be stretched thin, filled, emptied— like a new wineskin that won’t easily break.

Hard to believe now that I used to have a heart like stone, from abuse and mis-use.

God has truly worked His miracles and healing in me.

As a kid, my fondest memories are revolving doors with several exits into experiences with my grandparents— especially with my grandma.

One door opens into their backyard where I practically lived as often as I was allowed! Riding the mini motor bike my grandad won in an auction around in a tight circle,”. Playing “ice cream truck” with my brother, our tricycle turned upside down and the pedals somehow being an important part of the game, or being chased around by chickens that got loose, pecking at my calves. Swinging for hours on the tree swing my grandad put up for us and climbing that tree. Pretending to drive his broken-down side-step truck stored off to the side of the backyard. Sneaking into the clubhouse built for my brother and my cousin, and pulling endless weeds out of grandad’s vegetable garden… Such an endless list of memories that leave my heart warm and full of love.

Another door opens into grandma’s kitchen, where she and I baked many cakes, and she’d let me frost them in so many colors— making them sickening sweet! Practicing making the tortillas I’d just learned from the summer school classes at the school behind their house. Nights of playing rummy, or “Go Fish!”, Hearts or “Author Author” at the dinner table where we’d giggle and lay our heads on the table every time she told us to “lay down” a card. The bowls of cereal, half sugar, I’d eat with my grandad as a bedtime snack. Seeing grandad resting after church while we used Silly Putty to “copy” the Sunday Funnies!

Then there’s the doorway into all of our travels, visiting new places each time! A doll museum, wax museum, Santa’s Workshop, car museum, The Garden of the Gods, zoos, The Molly Brown museum, camping out in an RV a few nights at some sand dunes we got to roll down like logs, feeding a deer some popcorn from my hand…

We spent endless hours building puzzles, playing 20 questions, finding alphabetical state license plates, using our imaginations to find every shape imaginable in the clouds, grandma braiding my hair—- laughing so much!!

They got a fireplace, and we’d roast marshmallows inside. On 4th of July’s we’d get the funnest, most colorful fireworks— grandad was always demonstrating the importance of safety by watering the ground and making sure nothing flying would hit anything flammable, both in the backyard and out on the street where we could see what all the neighbors were shooting off.

I miss those days tremendously!

If I had a time machine— TARDIS preferrable (😂), I’d go back to every one of those summers, every one of those precious moments— after I traveled back to hug my children at every age and every stage!!

(Side note— auto-change-my-words changed hug to “high school”— I would never ever travel back in time to my high school days!! 😖😝 😂)

But— let me talk about why I’m writing this blog today.

As fond as I am of those nearly perfect summer memories, I get to exercise my memory muscles again with some amazing, also nearly perfect memories of this summer!!

I got to have all my kids home— here in this beautiful host country where they each were born!

Instead of just describing memories, I have pictures— so many beautiful, heart warming pictures of memories with the most important people in my life!! I have 2 additional kids from other mothers married to my 2 oldest now, as well, no less precious to my very grateful, love-filled heart!

God has blessed me so much more than I could ever deserve!!

For one summer, I got to share my grandma’s experience of being surrounded by all my kids and their spouses, doing the funnest things we could— making memories, sharing our hearts and our lives with one another.

I have no doubt this was just a sample of what Heaven will be like.

May God bless you all with heart-warming memories that are extensions of what God’s promised for our future with Him in Eternity.