My husband and I got into an argument early this morning. Which, in all honesty, is an uncommon, even a rare thing for us. We both had had a long night for different reasons, both feeling tired and some stress. He was snippy with me, I was short-fused because of that and the long night… And the collision of our frustrations happened.
Years ago, in a far away land in a different lifetime, I was married to a different man. We fought all the time. He insulted me, called me degrading names, and treated me with such rudeness that my mom, who gets along with everyone and their dog (she’s a dog lover), hated him. He was mean and nasty to me, and I was defensive and fought back. I was a different person back then. Language that could make a sailor proud, a tongue that could tear an enemy to shreds, I held nothing back on him. After our divorce, I decided to make some drastic changes about who I would allow to get that close to me again.
I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone be verbally abusive, or degrade me again. I deserved better.
This morning, I reached a point I just never get to anymore, and I angrily told him how I was feeling. I expected him to get mad. I thought about how my ex-husband would have reacted when I had gotten to that point with him.
Mean and nasty…
I braced myself, wondering if I needed to gear up for a bigger argument.
We discussed it all rationally.
I forgave him. He forgave me.
We discussed a bit more, looking at the circumstances and reasons for the pressure build up. It started last night when I missed his telling me he had a headache and then I was loud and silly, obnoxiously happy because my character in World of Warcraft could finally fly. He tried to let it go. He snapped at me, I tried to let it go.
Then the long night of little sleep involving a cat scratching him as he accidentally rolled on it, and I was having a rough night as well…
Then more snapping, and I no longer was able to just let it go.
The actual argument lasted maybe a minute, the discussion maybe 5.
Now I am patting myself on the back at a job well done for picking a man who treats me even better than I expected.
John 15:12 (American Standard Bible), “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”
He has One Anothered me.