What life has taught me

Heard

heardYou know what it’s like to have something to say, but you just can’t be heard, right? Like at a rock concert , trying to talk over the music. Or when you have advice for someone whose shoes you have been in, but they just won’t stop and listen.

I have had some medical issues going on for quite sometime now. A couple of times in my life, I have dealt with edema and swelling. This most recent dealing has lasted 14 years.

Often when I go to the doctor, they have an agenda: find the quickest, easiest method to get me out of their office. Well, ok, that has been the majority of military doctors. One doctor pulled me into his office where his desk is, after I explained my reason for making an appointment: my arm hurt. Badly. So badly, I could barely move it. I didn’t know what I had done, except we had just moved back overseas, and I had to carry a lot of heavy luggage and 2 babies. He completely ignored my pain, and sat me down at his desk to counsel me. On what, you might ask? On the need to lose weight and exercise. I didn’t even bother to try to explain my problems with all over swelling and edema, he never would have heard me. He had an agenda. So, I fumed silently to myself, left, and NEVER made another appointment to see him again. I was sure that was the end of it. I was wrong. That following Sunday, smack dab on the front page of the Stars and Stripes was this doctor’s picture, and an article he wrote about  the spontaneous counseling session he forced on me. He didn’t “quote” me, didn’t mention my name in particular, but he used  our conversation along with some of the things I did actually say, and of course his “wise words”, putting me in my place. If he wasn’t military, I could, and would have sued him! But, I can’t do that. So, instead I chose to not trust military doctors again. I’ve had a few appointments when necessary, and especially when I was pregnant. I did try to deal with this edema again, years later, at a different military medical facility, and a civilian Naval doctor took my concerns seriously. He listened, but he was limited in how he could help.

About 2 months ago, I had some concerns about some things I am experiencing, so I hesitantly made an appointment. After the appointment, I wasn’t sure if I would actually be taken seriously. I thought she had put me in for some routine tests to look for my concerns. Then I didn’t hear from her again, but her office actually calls me every couple of weeks to check in with me.  That’s a new thing.

Because of some concerns with my blood tests, she had me referred to a Hematologist. I’ve seen him 2 times now. The first time I wasn’t sure what to make of him. He asked me some questions, did a short exam, and sent me to have my blood tested again. He had a nurse talk with me, and she is really friendly and helpful. Today, I had a follow-up, and the doctor asked more questions. He told me about my blood results, which are a bit scary. I don’t exactly know what’s going on with me, but he has explained what I can expect from him and the process he thinks I need to go through. I will see another doctor, and possibly a third doctor to find out what’s going on. And, more blood was drawn so he could look at it even more closely.

Today, I was heard. I was taken seriously. I was asked how I feel, what I think, what I am concerned about, and if I had any questions. I have a new faith with doctors that I have never had before.

Today was a new day, indeed.

As frustrated as I have been all these years, I can imagine how frustrated God feels when we just won’t listen to Him. Sometimes we value our opinion above what He has to say. We don’t want to hear what He’s saying because we don’t want to change something He wants changed. Or we don’t believe He is talking with us, we aren’t always very good listeners to God.

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.  Romans 10:17