When God formed me, He designed my learning style to become a combination of visual and hands-on experience.
That’s how I push through.
That’s how I progress.
That’s how I approach nearly every situation.
I look for the hands-on, visual way to learn, to cope, to grow as a human/wife/mom/friend.
I tend to soak in as much information as I am able to.
Then— I figure out how/if/why I can apply that as accurate and fitting.
So— when I notice anything “off” with my health, my attitude or my perspective, sometimes I research it to see if I can figure out the “why” and the “fix”.
As a child, I was immersed in plenty of visual and hands-on learning of what not to do, who not to be like, who not to trust…
As a result of that, I firmly, solidly do not trust the majority of medical information or people.
I learned that most information and “solutions” concerning health, medications, and procedures are based on “best guesses”, patients becoming guinea pigs, and little-to-no research into the after/side-effects/affects.
Very little actual CARE goes into patient “care”.
I got my dangerous visual lessons while my dad was continuously misdiagnosed.
I saw 100% patient neglect as he was pushed through with the medically-hearded people who believed they were being given solid, proven medical solutions and accurate diagnosis’s.
Medical “professionals” applied medications to an abused, traumatized, hurting mind that I have no doubt Satan took much enjoyment in getting his footholds in to.
There was not much in healing attempts in my dad’s mind, his emotions, or his brokenness. Some counseling, some hospitalization when things spun dangerously out of control…
There were pills.
There were side effects.
Abuse, trauma and brokenness became a weapon turned against his family.
So many visually/physically painful, hands-on lessons I learned.
I was so messed up.
As a result— God has turned that around for my good, because He loves me and I’m called according to His purpose.
He reached out to me, and helped me where no other person— medical or otherwise— ever did.
He answered my desperate pleadings for help and love with His rainbow reminders that He loves me and that He always keeps His Word, His promises.
Every person failed me.
God never failed me.
He never just left me alone to figure things out for myself, to find answers on my own.
He speaks truth into the inner places of my mind, heart and soul.
God has healed me from everything the enemy of my soul has hoped would destroy me— to get me to leave the comfort and safety of God.
I have been in a battle throughout my lifetime, for my mind, my heart, my trust…
God continues to never fail me.
If failure ever happens, it will be my own doing.
Never God’s.
As an adult, there have been fresh wounds that run so deep.
The visual part of my learning no longer deals with dangerous— Thank God!!
But, it still pushes through the painful, breath-stealing things I’ve experienced past my childhood.
I’m facing newer things.
Alone— but not alone.
God is always here, guiding me through, helping me see where He’s turned things around for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.
His purpose.
Sometimes He shows me His purpose.
Sometimes— He does not.
Sometimes I can see part of it, and I see how He blends it in with His purpose for others.
Now I’m aware God provides me with trusted people I can talk to if I need or want to. As a child, I didn’t know how to look for that. I just knew God was listening— hearing me.
Always— He listens when I talk to Him.
Always.
Right now I need His help.
No medical professional’s drug referrals will be my solution— they never are— not for me.
I won’t have hands-on experience with side-effects/affects.
No one knows what is best for me better than The One Who created me.
He has never failed me
There is no “yet” in that researched knowledge.
He never will.
He’s already at work in my understanding and acknowledgement of this newer wounding.
He never gets tired, He’s never under any influence, He never goes against what He already knows is for my good.
He has no ego to feed.
He has no agenda to push.
He has no obligations to make sure certain drugs are being used.
His methods are 100% pure, proven and trustworthy.
He is my Great Physician.
Mind, body and soul.
I can already feel Him at work.
As He heals, repairs, and removes—
He floods my senses with His anesthetic— perfect peace.
Jemtree's Heart 