If there’s one lesson I keep re-learning, it’s that often things are far from how they appear. Even if I want to define something by my own opinion based on what I see, at least 90% of the time it’s just wrong. So much of what I think about people and situations is based on […]
Self Sabotage
Lately I have become aware of an enemy in my camp, so to speak. I’d love to be able to point my finger, along with my focused outrage and frustration, at someone. But, if I were to point any fingers at anyone at all— all of them would point at me. I’m not sure why […]
My Complaining Heart
Yesterday was not my best “me” day. Between Covid reactions and my own physical health issues with limited mobility, I am out of practice for busy-ness. For years, I’ve maneuvered through the maze of living with an immune disorder. I’ve managed my time carefully when I can, because honestly being overwhelmed with just doing whatever […]
Parenthood: Common Threads
We parents, we stumble through a lot more than we may let on. What we most often let the world see is confidence, security, resolution— but underneath it all, the stuff we often protect from detection is a jumbled mess of emotions…
What If I Just Can’t Thank Him For The Trials?
I don’t believe Scripture teaches us to blame the bad things on God in order to then thank Him to *glorify* Him.
The Changing Status Of The Love Language
Learning to speak and interpret a love language takes time, effort and understanding.
Over Here, Over There— Far Removed
These trees look like they want to be somewhere else, but their roots are planted too deep for them to leave. If I could see my heart right now, I think it might somehow resemble this! My roots are planted deeply, firmly into the ground here. But my heart— my heart wants to go. It […]
Be Anxious For Nothing— But How??
I feel stressed. While this isn’t a new thing, the intensity of this feeling is more than usual. So, while I know the Bible instructs me to “Be anxious for nothing…” I am struggling right now with that very issue. Circumstances far beyond my control. Worry over family and friends. Plowing a new course for […]
My Testimony
I’m stepping out of my comfort zone to share my story of what God has done, and is still accomplishing in me. I’ll be honest— I’m recognizing a deep, breath-constricting anxiety as I set out to share this here. I have family that won’t want me to talk about it, some who still don’t even […]
Change— What’s In My “Pocket” Of Life
If you could see my spirit, it might very well look a lot like this. I think mostly scars now, not so many cracks. So many scars are evidence of where God has healed me throughout my lifetime. Wounds that used to fester have been healed by His Word, His kept promises, His love. My […]
How God Changed Paul
Convinced. Paul— then called Saul— was convinced. He was right. He was righteous. I can’t help but notice the word “con” in “convinced”. It took God setting then Saul aside, taking him away from his circle of influence, blinding him, opening his true sight— and then He reopened his physical eyes. Paul was conned by […]
Confidence in Christ
In America, our culture is saturated in self-confidence. It’s embedded in every aspect of our society, to have faith in our own abilities, to live with a measure of success because of some wisdom, knowledge or ability we possess. I have slowly begun to realize that this whole doctrine for American life is contrary to […]
The Hoarding Church
How many Bibles do you own? How many Bible apps do you have? How much Scripture do we have on the walls of our homes, on the wallpapers of our devices, or set aside on our note apps? How much Scripture do we have written on the tablet of our heart? God’s Gospel of Salvation, […]
Believers Meetings
What is the purpose of “church”? I’ve heard church described as a group of sinners. Saved by grace, yes, but emphasis on sinners. If we are people who claim to follow after Jesus, shouldn’t we instead refer to ourselves as repentant sinners saved by grace? Repentant. Having turned away from the sin that has affected […]
Simple Gospel VS Layered Expectations
God made Salvation as easy as possible for us. Mankind adds twists, turns and an abundance of complicated expectations. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one, and only, Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV Then mankind adds their own “twist”— you’re […]
The Blood of Jesus
Who can understand how the blood of Jesus can wipe away the sins of the world? Only God. The same God Who created time itself, created a way where He could come onto Earth, and prepare the only way to eternal Salvation for a fallen, disgraced, despicable humanity. The only way. Blood is not a […]
Managed
My eyes are opening. At least, they are trying to open. They’ve started to open before, but then I shut them. Again. Everything on the surface looks fine, looks good even. But then something happens, and they start to open again. In the past, just as they are beginning to focus, to recognize… I am […]
You Saw Me First
If I could describe my life as a mash-up with how God has always been there, it would go something like the following: Accidents, mishaps and hospital ER trips— Your protective Hand was covering me, keeping me safe from far worse. Deepest loneliness, hurts and deep-seated rejections— You’ve always accepted me, held me close to […]
MIA— Compassion and Respect
I am an Air Force Veteran. I am a woman. These two things should not be opposite sides of the time-in-voluntary-service, but unfortunately they are. There are so many variants that shaped my personal military adventure. No two experiences are alike, but if I were standing next to my also Veteran, retired, husband— he is […]
He’s With Me Through It All
Imagine this is a picture of God’s hand— catching all of our tears (Psalm 56:8), Holding our hand (Isaiah 41:13), pouring His grace, His mercy out over us (1 Timothy 1:12-17)— within our reach, in His grasp (Acts 17:27). Imagine His hand designing every part of us, every cell’s information center, every detail from the […]
Repost— Mom 139: New Parent’s Translation
They have searched for me, my kids,
they know me well.
They know when I sit down, and when I get up to clean;
They perceive my need for time alone from afar…
The End Of The World
Chaos. This is the idea being pushed all around us. Urgency. Fear. We are surrounded by this, wherever we look. The news. Family and friends. The medical community. We can’t escape the chaos. Or— can we? There’s a newer song with a verse that says, “The atmosphere is all around. The Spirit of The Lord […]
Our Changing Worldview
1 Cor 13:11a “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; When I was a child, my whole entire view was about me. My immediate surroundings, how big everything seemed, my interactions with family members, wanting to be liked and approved-of by everyone […]
Puppet Strings— Opinions Of Others
We are all His creation, made carefully, delicately, lovingly— by His hand, nurtured and protected by His hand, watered by His Spirit, cleansed by the blood of Jesus that sin can never corrupt. Ever.
Focal Point
Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever been the sounding-board for someone who doesn’t really see you while they are talking? Has there ever been an expectation of you to be available to fit into someone else’s schedule? Have you ever just wanted to not— just for a little while— be available when it’s […]
Tough As Sand
In the past, I thought of myself as a kind of diamond in the rough. But here lately, I realize I’m more a lump of soft coal that wishes it could be a diamond. Coal that is under the heaviest of pressure can, in part, become a diamond. In the past I’ve compared my life’s […]
Forgive Them? Why??
This is a recurring theme in my life, it seems. And not just little things— really big, hard issues. When things start to finally relax, suddenly it becomes necessary to exercise my forgiveness muscles again. I have lifted some of the heaviest issues with these muscles. I don’t see a need to flex them for […]
Back To My First Love
Lately my time, one-on-one with God has been a spontaneous thing, which becomes steered by intention. Something within me has changed. My perspective, or I guess my realization of the reliability— the consistent stability— of God with me. I never question His willingness to make sure I am taken care of. He has never wavered— […]
Expectation Meet-Up
I’ve failed. Again. No big surprise. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the game by now. I show up, with all of my imperfections– which are easily recognized at first glance– and I fail the test. You know– the test– where I do, or behave, or look like the labeled box I “should” just fit […]
The Forgiveness of God
How many times have you heard someone say, “I will never forgive them.” How many times have we all felt someone has done or said something that is beyond the scope? It’s crossed that unmentioned line we all tend to instictivlely draw in our personal belief system? I can tell you I had my own […]
Transformed By Transcendence
I used to hold the collateral damage in Stuff it way down deep Keep it out of sight Like it was nothing but a junk heap. I used to care about What people thought But then I woke up I’m different– so what？ I’ve lived an intense life There are depths I know Created through […]
My Shoes
Nobody says, “I wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes?” about abused children. No one daydreams about being yelled at, called names– or worse. No one envies the child with the broken spirit, no one celebrates their choice to fight to survive. One of the strongest memories of my dad was […]
Unavailable
Usually I make myself available for others to talk with, to help with their online businesses, to help their friends with their online businesses… It’s rarely convenient for me. But I value people and sincerely want to help others succeed. I’m seeing how little that is actually valued beyond the moment it happens, so I’m […]
One Size Fits… Um No
I confess– I have a tendency to be a serial unasked-for advice giver. I can’t help it. I know others can glean from my experience-gained wisdom. Right? Except that’s never how it’s taken. If I’m honest, it’s also not how I take it from others, either, even though I try to be polite and respectful. […]
Suppression
With all the recent scandals from Hollywood and politicians, I’m again thinking about my own past of sexual abuse, and different reactions I’ve experienced about how I do/don’t do things. First, I’ll share some of my background. I was molested by my dad as a young girl. That in and of itself is still a […]
What I Wish Some Understood About Sexual Abuse Survivors
We live in a world full of people with as many backgrounds as there are people. No two are completely alike. In this mix, there are abusers, abuse survivors and the unaware. The category I fit into is abuse survivor. I was molested as a child, harassed as a teen and young adult, and raped […]
Happy Birthday, United States Air Force– What Is There To Even Celebrate Now?
As a veteran and military spouse with 22 years of Air Force experience, what can I say about my beloved branch of service on its 69th birthday? I was proud the day I stepped out of MEPS with a promised new, exciting yet completely unknown future. At 24, after a failed marriage to a man […]
How Have You Grown?
I was inspired to write this by this blog: http://thingstoadore.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/and-before-you-know-it/ There is nothing like becoming a mom and being responsible for the lives of our little ones who are so vulnerable and completely dependent on us, to make us both grow, and grow up. I became a mom at 29. I had almost 3 decades […]
Jemtree's Heart 