Self Sabotage

Lately I have become aware of an enemy in my camp, so to speak. I’d love to be able to point my finger, along with my focused outrage and frustration, at someone. But, if I were to point any fingers at anyone at all— all of them would point at me. I’m not sure why […]

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My Complaining Heart

Yesterday was not my best “me” day. Between Covid reactions and my own physical health issues with limited mobility, I am out of practice for busy-ness. For years, I’ve maneuvered through the maze of living with an immune disorder. I’ve managed my time carefully when I can, because honestly being overwhelmed with just doing whatever […]

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Be Anxious For Nothing— But How??

I feel stressed. While this isn’t a new thing, the intensity of this feeling is more than usual. So, while I know the Bible instructs me to “Be anxious for nothing…” I am struggling right now with that very issue. Circumstances far beyond my control. Worry over family and friends. Plowing a new course for […]

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My Testimony

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone to share my story of what God has done, and is still accomplishing in me. I’ll be honest— I’m recognizing a deep, breath-constricting anxiety as I set out to share this here. I have family that won’t want me to talk about it, some who still don’t even […]

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How God Changed Paul

Convinced. Paul— then called Saul— was convinced. He was right. He was righteous. I can’t help but notice the word “con” in “convinced”. It took God setting then Saul aside, taking him away from his circle of influence, blinding him, opening his true sight— and then He reopened his physical eyes. Paul was conned by […]

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Confidence in Christ

In America, our culture is saturated in self-confidence. It’s embedded in every aspect of our society, to have faith in our own abilities, to live with a measure of success because of some wisdom, knowledge or ability we possess. I have slowly begun to realize that this whole doctrine for American life is contrary to […]

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The Hoarding Church

How many Bibles do you own? How many Bible apps do you have? How much Scripture do we have on the walls of our homes, on the wallpapers of our devices, or set aside on our note apps? How much Scripture do we have written on the tablet of our heart? God’s Gospel of Salvation, […]

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Believers Meetings

What is the purpose of “church”? I’ve heard church described as a group of sinners. Saved by grace, yes, but emphasis on sinners. If we are people who claim to follow after Jesus, shouldn’t we instead refer to ourselves as repentant sinners saved by grace? Repentant. Having turned away from the sin that has affected […]

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The Blood of Jesus

Who can understand how the blood of Jesus can wipe away the sins of the world? Only God. The same God Who created time itself, created a way where He could come onto Earth, and prepare the only way to eternal Salvation for a fallen, disgraced, despicable humanity. The only way. Blood is not a […]

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Managed

My eyes are opening. At least, they are trying to open. They’ve started to open before, but then I shut them. Again. Everything on the surface looks fine, looks good even. But then something happens, and they start to open again. In the past, just as they are beginning to focus, to recognize… I am […]

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You Saw Me First

If I could describe my life as a mash-up with how God has always been there, it would go something like the following: Accidents, mishaps and hospital ER trips— Your protective Hand was covering me, keeping me safe from far worse. Deepest loneliness, hurts and deep-seated rejections— You’ve always accepted me, held me close to […]

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He’s With Me Through It All

Imagine this is a picture of God’s hand— catching all of our tears (Psalm 56:8), Holding our hand (Isaiah 41:13), pouring His grace, His mercy out over us (1 Timothy 1:12-17)— within our reach, in His grasp (Acts 17:27). Imagine His hand designing every part of us, every cell’s information center, every detail from the […]

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The End Of The World

Chaos. This is the idea being pushed all around us. Urgency. Fear. We are surrounded by this, wherever we look. The news. Family and friends. The medical community. We can’t escape the chaos. Or— can we? There’s a newer song with a verse that says, “The atmosphere is all around. The Spirit of The Lord […]

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Our Changing Worldview

1 Cor 13:11a “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; When I was a child, my whole entire view was about me. My immediate surroundings, how big everything seemed, my interactions with family members, wanting to be liked and approved-of by everyone […]

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Focal Point

Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever been the sounding-board for someone who doesn’t really see you while they are talking? Has there ever been an expectation of you to be available to fit into someone else’s schedule? Have you ever just wanted to not— just for a little while— be available when it’s […]

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Tough As Sand

In the past, I thought of myself as a kind of diamond in the rough. But here lately, I realize I’m more a lump of soft coal that wishes it could be a diamond. Coal that is under the heaviest of pressure can, in part, become a diamond. In the past I’ve compared my life’s […]

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Forgive Them? Why??

This is a recurring theme in my life, it seems. And not just little things— really big, hard issues. When things start to finally relax, suddenly it becomes necessary to exercise my forgiveness muscles again. I have lifted some of the heaviest issues with these muscles. I don’t see a need to flex them for […]

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Back To My First Love

Lately my time, one-on-one with God has been a spontaneous thing, which becomes steered by intention. Something within me has changed. My perspective, or I guess my realization of the reliability— the consistent stability— of God with me. I never question His willingness to make sure I am taken care of. He has never wavered— […]

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Expectation Meet-Up

I’ve failed. Again. No big surprise. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the game by now. I show up, with all of my imperfections– which are easily recognized at first glance– and I fail the test. You know– the test– where I do, or behave, or look like the labeled box I “should” just fit […]

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The Forgiveness of God

How many times have you heard someone say, “I will never forgive them.” How many times have we all felt someone has done or said something that is beyond the scope? It’s crossed that unmentioned line we all tend to instictivlely draw in our personal belief system? I can tell you I had my own […]

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My Shoes

Nobody says, “I wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes?” about abused children. No one daydreams about being yelled at, called names– or worse. No one envies the child with the broken spirit, no one celebrates their choice to fight to survive. One of the strongest memories of my dad was […]

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Unavailable

Usually I make myself available for others to talk with, to help with their online businesses, to help their friends with their online businesses… It’s rarely convenient for me. But I value people and sincerely want to help others succeed. I’m seeing how little that is actually valued beyond the moment it happens, so I’m […]

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One Size Fits… Um No

I confess– I have a tendency to be a serial unasked-for advice giver. I can’t help it. I know others can glean from my experience-gained wisdom. Right? Except that’s never how it’s taken. If I’m honest, it’s also not how I take it from others, either, even though I try to be polite and respectful. […]

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Suppression

With all the recent scandals from Hollywood and politicians, I’m again thinking about my own past of sexual abuse, and different reactions I’ve experienced about how I do/don’t do things. First, I’ll share some of my background. I was molested by my dad as a young girl. That in and of itself is still a […]

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Happy Birthday, United States Air Force– What Is There To Even Celebrate Now?

As a veteran and military spouse with 22 years of Air Force experience, what can I say about my beloved branch of service on its 69th birthday? I was proud the day I stepped out of MEPS with a promised new, exciting yet completely unknown future. At 24, after a failed marriage to a man […]

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How Have You Grown?

I was inspired to write this by this blog: http://thingstoadore.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/and-before-you-know-it/ There is nothing like becoming a mom and being responsible for the lives of our little ones who are so vulnerable and completely dependent on us, to make us both grow, and grow up. I became a mom at 29. I had almost 3 decades […]

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