My life has had a specific, consistent pursuit. Sometimes I’m not even aware, other times there is an overwhelming emptiness that squeezes my emotions and mental awareness.
It’s sometimes felt in the form of loneliness, even though I am rarely alone.
This very specific thing requires understanding to be the perfect fit. Without understanding, it can take on the shape of condescension, or pity.
I don’t mean the kind of understanding where a pat on the back and a look of concerned compassion are extended.
I mean— walked in my shoes, lived through similar enough experiences so that true understanding is a connecting force.
That kind of understanding.
That requires communication.
That requires listening.
Being heard is something I rarely feel I fully experience when attempting to communicate.
Sometimes it’s because I falter in my words or actions.
Sometimes it’s because no one is listening.
Not being heard is overwhelmingly frustrating and causes that deep emptiness to squeeze my emotions.
Being identified with is important.
Not just anyone can fit this in my life.
Someone who literally has “been there, done that”— not in the condescending way many often speak that phrase— I mean, having lived that phrase.
I am at a point where I should be listened to more, brushed aside less.
Why?
Because I have survived and thrived though some pretty intense things.
I have never met anyone else that had a toddler mountain lion use their head as a chew toy.
Been there— done that— don’t want to ever again…
I’ve met a few who have gone through similar emotional, mental and physical things I have— and even some who seem to value what I learned the hardest ways possible.
People who don’t get offended when I share from my very real experiences.
Those are the ones I find I seek to spend more time with.
Not the ones who think I am weak and I have nothing of value to say.
The ones who can listen to advice— solicited or not— because all I ever want to do is encourage and help others, to identify with then however I’m able to.
But without communication, that’s not possible.
Without understanding and a measure of humility from both sides, it just can’t be a healthy, thriving friendship.
Without concern for the things I’m concerned for, the friendship never gets past the surface level.
This is why the lyrics to so many NF songs resonate so deeply for me!
I have never met him.
I will never meet him here on earth.
But— he “gets” me because he has also survived through the hardest of life’s situations, though not the same things as me.
I wish I could be known by others enough to find others like that around me— kindred spirits.
But no one talks anymore.
Everyone talks— but says not much of that measure of value.
How well are you known by anyone else?
In my spirit, though I long for those around me who identify with me— I know there is always One Who “gets” me.
Jesus.
I haven’t experienced what He has— maybe a few things on a tiny scale.
He has experienced some of what I have, but not in the same ways that I have.
But He understands my reactions.
He sees where I have healed and still need to heal— sees the “invisible” wounds inflicted upon my spirit, throughout my life.
He is patient, kind, and gentle.
He has and is understanding.
He sustains me always, and He helps me get through those lonely times.
He truly is my Rock and my Salvation.
Jemtree's Heart 