Managed

My eyes are opening. At least, they are trying to open. They’ve started to open before, but then I shut them. Again. Everything on the surface looks fine, looks good even. But then something happens, and they start to open again. In the past, just as they are beginning to focus, to recognize… I am […]

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You Saw Me First

If I could describe my life as a mash-up with how God has always been there, it would go something like the following: Accidents, mishaps and hospital ER trips— Your protective Hand was covering me, keeping me safe from far worse. Deepest loneliness, hurts and deep-seated rejections— You’ve always accepted me, held me close to […]

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Back To My First Love

Lately my time, one-on-one with God has been a spontaneous thing, which becomes steered by intention. Something within me has changed. My perspective, or I guess my realization of the reliability— the consistent stability— of God with me. I never question His willingness to make sure I am taken care of. He has never wavered— […]

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Disadvantaged And Broken

The shock is wearing off now. The sting of the jolt that rocked me is beginning to fade. Numbness that covered me fully, almost like a protective layer of clothing from the elements of harsh weather, is beginning to peel away now. Ow! It’s tempting to pull back from some of the most intense, penetrating […]

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Inside the Broken

I’ve had this post bouncing around inside my head all day, wanting to just get out. As a kid, I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a sudden inspiration for writing. It was usually a poem. I recall just looking at the words I had written down, marveling at the picture […]

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Heart Strings

I love rainbows. Besides being beautiful, they fascinate me. The origin and history are intriguing. Besides the colorful streams that invoke a feeling of warmth, to me they are one of the many wonders of our world. Rainbows and I also have a history. My very first memory in our shared history is seeing one […]

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Caught In The Middle

I just caught a live sermon from Elevation Worship about transitioning. As I listened, it hit me– that’s what I’m going through! I’m in such a weird place right now. I don’t mean physically, or emotionally. Not really mentally– just in life in general. I’m not young anymore, but not old. In my heart I […]

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Unavailable

Usually I make myself available for others to talk with, to help with their online businesses, to help their friends with their online businesses… It’s rarely convenient for me. But I value people and sincerely want to help others succeed. I’m seeing how little that is actually valued beyond the moment it happens, so I’m […]

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One Size Fits… Um No

I confess– I have a tendency to be a serial unasked-for advice giver. I can’t help it. I know others can glean from my experience-gained wisdom. Right? Except that’s never how it’s taken. If I’m honest, it’s also not how I take it from others, either, even though I try to be polite and respectful. […]

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Suppression

With all the recent scandals from Hollywood and politicians, I’m again thinking about my own past of sexual abuse, and different reactions I’ve experienced about how I do/don’t do things. First, I’ll share some of my background. I was molested by my dad as a young girl. That in and of itself is still a […]

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What Is “Conversation”?

NASV James 1:19 “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” We are studying James in our weekly Journey Group, and this is what we talked and learned about last […]

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