rejection – Jemtree's Heart

Know when you👋 wave 👋 to someone you know, and they look 👀 right through you?

Pretend they don’t see you?

Yeah— that happened to me today.

Again.

This happens to me all the time.

Unless it’s someone that wants something from me.

Then— they are thrilled to see me!

If I didn’t have a firm foundation in who I am in Jesus— this would crush me.

It stings— a lot.

I get it.

I’m unimportant.

I’m unworthy of their attention or their time.

My own birth family looks right through me without ever actually seeing me.

I’m at the point where I can say “ Fine, whatever! 🙄” and mean it.

But— when it’s someone who claims to be a Christian doing this to me??

I am NOT ok with it.

God is NOT ok with it.

I have such an amazing testimony of God’s deliverance, healing and His grace.

How many around me actually know this?

Very few.

Not because I’m unwilling to share.

Because people don’t want to listen.

My entire life I have been looked through, as though I don’t even exist.

People in front and in back at church don’t greet me.

Even when I get their attention.

It’s exhausting not interacting with people I am invisible to, or who have already set their minds to push me away.

Exhausting.

And— it’s people part of a community that say they embrace how we all connect.— like Legos.

Well— guess who rarely gets connected with?

👉 🙋‍♀️ 👈

I prefer to have a very small group of people I know I can trust.

It’s fine that many choose not to include me.

But— that’s just it— they choose that.

I would at least give them a fair chance by getting to know them.

They, sadly, are oblivious to the sting of rejection they cause by elevating themselves above my feelings.

Feelings were not created by God to be stepped on or mocked.

They are not stupid.

They are necessary to gauge safety.

Especially for people who have lived through emotional or mental trauma.

How sad is it that it’s Christians my feelings often warn me will not be safe for me?

That is not a problem just with me.

It’s a symptom of a very deep-seated problem in the church.

A dark blemish on the bride of Christ— the church.

We have to stop hurting our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I have felt the sharp edges of people claiming to have Jesus— but having no love.

Lack of love + lack of grace = lack of Jesus.

Instead of looking through me, I pray God reflects Himself back.

That His Holy Spirit reveals truth and fixes what is broken or dysfunctional.

I hope we aren’t revealed to be the smelly ♨️ armpit ♨️ of the Body of Christ.

Something sure smells unpleasant— offensive— at times…

How many of us just need someone to smile, wave, enjoy— listen to us?

James 2:15-17 What if a Christian does not have clothes or food? And one of you says to him, “Goodbye, keep yourself warm and eat well.” But if you do not give him what he needs, how does that help him? A faith that does not do things is a dead faith.

Romans 12:15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Galatians 6:2-3 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

Romans 15:1 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.

1 Corinthians 10:24 Try to do what is good for others, not just what is good for yourselves.

Romans 12:5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

I get it. God hates divorce.

Divorced people also hate divorce. It’s ugly. It’s destructive. It tears apart what God put together. It turns a peaceful union into a war zone.

Moses gave permission for divorce because mens hearts had hardened against their wives. A hardened heart makes way for cruelty and abuse. Moses was protecting the wives by allowing it.

As one who went through a Scriptural divorce– it sucks! It hurt!

Divorce rips apart lives, hearts and families. It destroys reputations, confidence and dreams.

Divorce is Hell on earth. It separates two people who were once bonded together by love and agreement.

Every divorce is different, it happens for different reasons. It’s a deeply personal experience that cuts through the one-flesh union down into the marrow of our spirit. If you have ever had to have a bone marrow biopsy done, then you know how much that cutting hurts the spirit of those split apart by divorce.

Divorce is more destructive and devastating than losing of a loved one to death. It’s cancer to marriage.

Going through a divorce is pain-filled dying yet still living.

Can we as the Church, the Body of Christ, just stop? Stop judging our wounded family. Stop throwing stones. Stop rejecting. Stop pouring on our salt… Just stop.

Can we just love one another?

Can we just reach out and encourage each other, especially those in our church memberships that we haven’t taken the time to really get to know?

Let’s trade rejecting for compassion. Hatefulness for love. “Tough love” for gentleness, kindness. Anger for patient listening. Judgment for hugs and healing words.

We can do this. We need to do this. We’ve got to stop wounding our wounded.

I hope to see more teaching to couples and congregations about the difficulties of marriage and the solutions God provides through His Word and through praying together. I hope to see less rejecting of divorcées, and more kind and gentle ministries offered compassionately towards them.

Come on, Church. We are better than this ugly, hate-filled rejection of those who are hurting and struggling to get the pieces of their lives together, alone.

What Would Jesus Do? What does He expect us to do in His Name?