Apparently there is this school of thought, some believe supported by Scripture, that being the unfortunate victim of abuse is “God’s Will”. Obviously they don’t understand how wrong of a conclusion they have come to. Nor do they get the depth abuse reaches into the spirit, the soul and the foundation of someone deeply traumatized […]
You Saw Me First
If I could describe my life as a mash-up with how God has always been there, it would go something like the following: Accidents, mishaps and hospital ER trips— Your protective Hand was covering me, keeping me safe from far worse. Deepest loneliness, hurts and deep-seated rejections— You’ve always accepted me, held me close to […]
He’s With Me Through It All
Imagine this is a picture of God’s hand— catching all of our tears (Psalm 56:8), Holding our hand (Isaiah 41:13), pouring His grace, His mercy out over us (1 Timothy 1:12-17)— within our reach, in His grasp (Acts 17:27). Imagine His hand designing every part of us, every cell’s information center, every detail from the […]
Puppet Strings— Opinions Of Others
We are all His creation, made carefully, delicately, lovingly— by His hand, nurtured and protected by His hand, watered by His Spirit, cleansed by the blood of Jesus that sin can never corrupt. Ever.
Cycle of Frustration
The human ability to adapt to most situations and changes, is astounding. Even more-so is the ability to overcome— to beat, win, conquer overwhelming circumstances. There are an infinite number of human-interest stories about people who beat the odds— and often God is credited for a person’s ability to do what our minds consider to […]
In The Way
I was often told I was “in the way” by people who’s opinion mattered deeply to me, for a significant portion of my life. I had no reason to not believe them. So, I did all I could to move out of the way, whether physically or otherwise. I assumed everyone thought this about me. […]
Giving God What’s Broken
In our culture of Christianity, it’s become easy to sing our promises and confessions of faith. Do we follow through? When the service is over, do we reflect on the weighty words we’ve sung in praise, adoration and promise to our God? I can’t say, with a clear conscience, that I have. When I sing […]
Focal Point
Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever been the sounding-board for someone who doesn’t really see you while they are talking? Has there ever been an expectation of you to be available to fit into someone else’s schedule? Have you ever just wanted to not— just for a little while— be available when it’s […]
Tough As Sand
In the past, I thought of myself as a kind of diamond in the rough. But here lately, I realize I’m more a lump of soft coal that wishes it could be a diamond. Coal that is under the heaviest of pressure can, in part, become a diamond. In the past I’ve compared my life’s […]
Expectation Meet-Up
I’ve failed. Again. No big surprise. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the game by now. I show up, with all of my imperfections– which are easily recognized at first glance– and I fail the test. You know– the test– where I do, or behave, or look like the labeled box I “should” just fit […]
Inside the Broken
I’ve had this post bouncing around inside my head all day, wanting to just get out. As a kid, I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a sudden inspiration for writing. It was usually a poem. I recall just looking at the words I had written down, marveling at the picture […]
The Forgiveness of God
How many times have you heard someone say, “I will never forgive them.” How many times have we all felt someone has done or said something that is beyond the scope? It’s crossed that unmentioned line we all tend to instictivlely draw in our personal belief system? I can tell you I had my own […]
Heart Strings
I love rainbows. Besides being beautiful, they fascinate me. The origin and history are intriguing. Besides the colorful streams that invoke a feeling of warmth, to me they are one of the many wonders of our world. Rainbows and I also have a history. My very first memory in our shared history is seeing one […]
My Shoes
Nobody says, “I wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes?” about abused children. No one daydreams about being yelled at, called names– or worse. No one envies the child with the broken spirit, no one celebrates their choice to fight to survive. One of the strongest memories of my dad was […]
Wound’s Protector— The Scar
I’ve mentioned a few times that I have scars on my scalp from a “friendly” domesticated adolescent cougar “playing” with my head as his chew toy. I’m thinking about that today because they hurt. Kinda bad. So that got me to thinking– if my physical scars hurt so badly at times, what about those deep […]
What I Wish Some Understood About Sexual Abuse Survivors
We live in a world full of people with as many backgrounds as there are people. No two are completely alike. In this mix, there are abusers, abuse survivors and the unaware. The category I fit into is abuse survivor. I was molested as a child, harassed as a teen and young adult, and raped […]
My Open Letter To Pastors Everywhere– You Need To Get This
Dear Pastors, Over the past 20 years I have been moved from place to place, sometimes by God, sometimes for personal reasons. That is why I’m writing this. I am no one special. I have no title, no grand purpose or calling. I am like many within your flock, under your care– part of your […]
Scars– Survivor’s Thick Skin
I have scars. Some are easily seen. Like the one on my hand where I got stitches from grabbing a knife out of a distressed friend’s hand. He was threatening self-harm. Some are hidden. I have scars in my scalp from an attack by a playful young mountain lion my aunt kept and adopted from […]
God Loves Divorcées
I get it. God hates divorce. Divorced people also hate divorce. It’s ugly. It’s destructive. It tears apart what God put together. It turns a peaceful union into a war zone. Moses gave permission for divorce because mens hearts had hardened against their wives. A hardened heart makes way for cruelty and abuse. Moses was […]
