Back To My First Love

Lately my time, one-on-one with God has been a spontaneous thing, which becomes steered by intention.

Something within me has changed. My perspective, or I guess my realization of the reliability— the consistent stability— of God with me. I never question His willingness to make sure I am taken care of. He has never wavered— though I know it’s certainly not because of anything I’ve earned nor do I dare think I deserve it.

This idea of “first love” is tumbling around in my brain today. Meditating in His Presence, saturating my spirit in the beautiful song Nothing Else, this idea of being taken back to my first love opens up a whole new reservoir of understanding for me.

“Take me back, take me back, take me back to my first love…” Can I say God has ever been my first love? I mean— honestly. Because, of course in “Christianese” that’s what we profess— that God is our first love.

As I just meditate on what that means to me, and question how exactly to get back to my first love when I cannot say that was God, I recognize what I need is to get back to the first recognition of my love for Him, and my first realization of His love for me.

My first time knowing this unique, soul-filling love that heals me, that refreshes me— that holds me close to Him.

“Take me back to my first love…” Take me back to that first moment the veil was torn from my understanding, that first glimpse my spirit had of You.

Take my heart back to being satisfied by sitting in Your Presence, back when things were simplified— back to the safety and comfort, like a newborn babe resting on its daddy’s chest— near to Your heartbeat. Because “Only You satisfy my heart… Nothing else will do— I just want You”

One thought on “Back To My First Love

  1. I hadn’t thought about “first love” that way. I agree with you that, if I’m honest with myself, God is my “should-be-first love.” When I consider what He’s done and who He is, and contrast that with what I’ve done and who I’ve been before His grace intervened, I can’t dare to claim that I have loved Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. “First love” feels too strong, though I know that’s the words of Jesus to one of the churches in Revelation.
    But I can absolutely relate to, “take me back to the moments when You first revealed Yourself, when the truth of scripture first clicked and I knew that I was forgiven and accepted, when I found that there was nothing and no one else that would satisfy the way You do.”

    Liked by 1 person

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