Apparently there is this school of thought, some believe supported by Scripture, that being the unfortunate victim of abuse is “God’s Will”. Obviously they don’t understand how wrong of a conclusion they have come to. Nor do they get the depth abuse reaches into the spirit, the soul and the foundation of someone deeply traumatized […]
You Saw Me First
If I could describe my life as a mash-up with how God has always been there, it would go something like the following: Accidents, mishaps and hospital ER trips— Your protective Hand was covering me, keeping me safe from far worse. Deepest loneliness, hurts and deep-seated rejections— You’ve always accepted me, held me close to […]
MIA— Compassion and Respect
I am an Air Force Veteran. I am a woman. These two things should not be opposite sides of the time-in-voluntary-service, but unfortunately they are. There are so many variants that shaped my personal military adventure. No two experiences are alike, but if I were standing next to my also Veteran, retired, husband— he is […]
He’s With Me Through It All
Imagine this is a picture of God’s hand— catching all of our tears (Psalm 56:8), Holding our hand (Isaiah 41:13), pouring His grace, His mercy out over us (1 Timothy 1:12-17)— within our reach, in His grasp (Acts 17:27). Imagine His hand designing every part of us, every cell’s information center, every detail from the […]
I Remember Who I Was
My life was the messiest of messes. I was being crushed against my rock-bottom. He saw me. He reached into my soul, He called my name. My name. He knew my name.
Cycle of Frustration
The human ability to adapt to most situations and changes, is astounding. Even more-so is the ability to overcome— to beat, win, conquer overwhelming circumstances. There are an infinite number of human-interest stories about people who beat the odds— and often God is credited for a person’s ability to do what our minds consider to […]
Back To My First Love
Lately my time, one-on-one with God has been a spontaneous thing, which becomes steered by intention. Something within me has changed. My perspective, or I guess my realization of the reliability— the consistent stability— of God with me. I never question His willingness to make sure I am taken care of. He has never wavered— […]
Inward Brokenness
“…that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Eph 4:22-24 NASB
Disadvantaged And Broken
The shock is wearing off now. The sting of the jolt that rocked me is beginning to fade. Numbness that covered me fully, almost like a protective layer of clothing from the elements of harsh weather, is beginning to peel away now. Ow! It’s tempting to pull back from some of the most intense, penetrating […]
Expectation Meet-Up
I’ve failed. Again. No big surprise. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the game by now. I show up, with all of my imperfections– which are easily recognized at first glance– and I fail the test. You know– the test– where I do, or behave, or look like the labeled box I “should” just fit […]
Vlogging- Venting Blog
So– I know this will be shocking, but– I have a pet peeve. Actually, I have a few. But the one I am being pounced on by right now is– well– I’ll call it flabbergasted. I am biting my proverbial tongue pretty hard right now, in all honesty. The ignorant gall of some people brings […]
Inside the Broken
I’ve had this post bouncing around inside my head all day, wanting to just get out. As a kid, I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a sudden inspiration for writing. It was usually a poem. I recall just looking at the words I had written down, marveling at the picture […]
Words Matter– Spoken and Unspoken
Tearing down is for strongholds, not for people. Not ever for people.
Square Person in a “Well-rounded” World
Miracles are not always evident, but if you can catch just a glimpse of one, you are seeing the evidence of God in action.
Transformed By Transcendence
I used to hold the collateral damage in Stuff it way down deep Keep it out of sight Like it was nothing but a junk heap. I used to care about What people thought But then I woke up I’m different– so what？ I’ve lived an intense life There are depths I know Created through […]
Challenging Narratives
We look at what others do and we jump to some pretty strong conclusions about them and the condition of their soul, because of their choices that we don’t agree with.
We judge the container of their soul and think we’re in the right.
My Shoes
Nobody says, “I wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes?” about abused children. No one daydreams about being yelled at, called names– or worse. No one envies the child with the broken spirit, no one celebrates their choice to fight to survive. One of the strongest memories of my dad was […]
Wound’s Protector— The Scar
I’ve mentioned a few times that I have scars on my scalp from a “friendly” domesticated adolescent cougar “playing” with my head as his chew toy. I’m thinking about that today because they hurt. Kinda bad. So that got me to thinking– if my physical scars hurt so badly at times, what about those deep […]
Don’t Forsake The Assembling Of ‘Ourselves’ Together
Hebrews 10:25. How many times I’ve heard that– especially when I’ve missed a service at some churches. I’ve lost count! I’ve exhausted and frustrated myself trying to jump through those hoops that lead to acceptance. What about when the assembly forsakes it’s own members? Like me. When my health started to betray me, and I […]
Your Discomfort Is Not My Responsibility
When we started dating, my husband, bless his heart, listened to so many stories from my past. He was my true friend– still is. He didn’t live through the same kinds of pain, and maybe he didn’t really want to hear what I was telling him about– but he did. I know he did, because […]
What I Wish Some Understood About Sexual Abuse Survivors
We live in a world full of people with as many backgrounds as there are people. No two are completely alike. In this mix, there are abusers, abuse survivors and the unaware. The category I fit into is abuse survivor. I was molested as a child, harassed as a teen and young adult, and raped […]
My Open Letter To Pastors Everywhere– You Need To Get This
Dear Pastors, Over the past 20 years I have been moved from place to place, sometimes by God, sometimes for personal reasons. That is why I’m writing this. I am no one special. I have no title, no grand purpose or calling. I am like many within your flock, under your care– part of your […]
Scars– Survivor’s Thick Skin
I have scars. Some are easily seen. Like the one on my hand where I got stitches from grabbing a knife out of a distressed friend’s hand. He was threatening self-harm. Some are hidden. I have scars in my scalp from an attack by a playful young mountain lion my aunt kept and adopted from […]
God Loves Divorcées
I get it. God hates divorce. Divorced people also hate divorce. It’s ugly. It’s destructive. It tears apart what God put together. It turns a peaceful union into a war zone. Moses gave permission for divorce because mens hearts had hardened against their wives. A hardened heart makes way for cruelty and abuse. Moses was […]
