Apparently there is this school of thought, some believe supported by Scripture, that being the unfortunate victim of abuse is “God’s Will”. Obviously they don’t understand how wrong of a conclusion they have come to. Nor do they get the depth abuse reaches into the spirit, the soul and the foundation of someone deeply traumatized […]
Cycle of Frustration
The human ability to adapt to most situations and changes, is astounding. Even more-so is the ability to overcome— to beat, win, conquer overwhelming circumstances. There are an infinite number of human-interest stories about people who beat the odds— and often God is credited for a person’s ability to do what our minds consider to […]
In The Way
I was often told I was “in the way” by people who’s opinion mattered deeply to me, for a significant portion of my life. I had no reason to not believe them. So, I did all I could to move out of the way, whether physically or otherwise. I assumed everyone thought this about me. […]
Inside the Broken
I’ve had this post bouncing around inside my head all day, wanting to just get out. As a kid, I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a sudden inspiration for writing. It was usually a poem. I recall just looking at the words I had written down, marveling at the picture […]
The Forgiveness of God
How many times have you heard someone say, “I will never forgive them.” How many times have we all felt someone has done or said something that is beyond the scope? It’s crossed that unmentioned line we all tend to instictivlely draw in our personal belief system? I can tell you I had my own […]
Heart Strings
I love rainbows. Besides being beautiful, they fascinate me. The origin and history are intriguing. Besides the colorful streams that invoke a feeling of warmth, to me they are one of the many wonders of our world. Rainbows and I also have a history. My very first memory in our shared history is seeing one […]
My Shoes
Nobody says, “I wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes?” about abused children. No one daydreams about being yelled at, called names– or worse. No one envies the child with the broken spirit, no one celebrates their choice to fight to survive. One of the strongest memories of my dad was […]
Believer’s Meeting
9:00 am, Sunday morning eyes close, hearts open– cue the perfect opening song, chosen because it’s upbeat, uplifting, and it gets the blood pumping. Energy surges. Those who practice loudly in their cars are ready to join in corporate Praise and Worship of Jesus, right? Except, “I” and “me” are used far more often than […]
Wound’s Protector— The Scar
I’ve mentioned a few times that I have scars on my scalp from a “friendly” domesticated adolescent cougar “playing” with my head as his chew toy. I’m thinking about that today because they hurt. Kinda bad. So that got me to thinking– if my physical scars hurt so badly at times, what about those deep […]
Suppression
With all the recent scandals from Hollywood and politicians, I’m again thinking about my own past of sexual abuse, and different reactions I’ve experienced about how I do/don’t do things. First, I’ll share some of my background. I was molested by my dad as a young girl. That in and of itself is still a […]
What I Wish Some Understood About Sexual Abuse Survivors
We live in a world full of people with as many backgrounds as there are people. No two are completely alike. In this mix, there are abusers, abuse survivors and the unaware. The category I fit into is abuse survivor. I was molested as a child, harassed as a teen and young adult, and raped […]
Scars– Survivor’s Thick Skin
I have scars. Some are easily seen. Like the one on my hand where I got stitches from grabbing a knife out of a distressed friend’s hand. He was threatening self-harm. Some are hidden. I have scars in my scalp from an attack by a playful young mountain lion my aunt kept and adopted from […]
Dark Reflection: Looking At The Painful Past
I hate looking at my past. I hate remembering. I have set out so many times to write “my story”, but something always blocks me. I think it might be “this” me hating the “old” me. I don’t want to look at it through my memories. Why would you? Today my youngest was playing with […]
Exposed
I hate my past. I hate the parts of my personal story that involve my past. I don’t like who I was, I don’t like what I lived through. I abhor my reactions and choices. I despise where I had no choice or that I […]
Jemtree's Heart 